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A Time and Space to Grieve

March 22, 2022

The lengthy voyage of battle ended with the appearance of the morning star in the eastern sky, signaling the beginning of a new day free of tremendous anguish and suffering. He didn’t say a word as dawn broke around him. At long last, he knew the way to his final resting place. His death occurred at first light on February 12. It’s been over a month and the pain is still unbearable.

Gene passed away a year after being diagnosed with terminal Stage 4 prostate cancer. His final wishes and requests on his deathbed were spoken with such love and respect for his family that remembering them now is the most sad and hardest thing anyone has ever done. He was aware of his surroundings until the end; it was painful to watch a loved one in this state of decline; I can feel his growing exhaustion; despite our best efforts, I’m not yet ready to let him go; he passed away just two days before Valentine’s Day; we had big plans for the holiday; it’s difficult to come to terms with the loss of a loved one. Saying farewell is the worst.

Dealing with grief is difficult since it brings up terrible memories and recollections over and over again. I constantly feel the need to cry. Whether it takes a year or a lifetime, I will never forget the pain of losing someone close to me. I can’t help but think about the good times we had together in the past, the travels we took as a family both domestically and abroad, his compassion and generosity, his commitment to and love for his family, and the routines of our daily lives. I can feel his gentle touch and his closeness to me, and it makes it difficult to take the next step. I will never get over missing him till the day we are together.

nearby bedside in those final days

This is how devastating the loss of a loved one can be: my entire world feels empty and sorrowful. Going through a rough patch right now, trying to get back to normal while dealing with the pain of loss and other emotions stemming from shock and disbelief. The inability to eat and sleep has wreaked havoc on my health. It’s difficult to start over after losing him; in all likelihood, it will take many years of hard work to get back on your feet.

As time goes by, hopefully the hurt will lessen. God is our source of hope and love, and in Him I put all my trust. God is with us always, even at our darkest hours. To live is to be alive… To properly grieve, I require more time alone. Please give me the strength to carry on, it’s tough to let go. In the middle of my sorrow, I need words of COMFORT and ENCOURAGEMENT to help me regain my footing.


Sharing my story to raise prostate cancer awareness.

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  1. We are thinking of you during these difficult times. I wish you fast healing and peace❤️

  2. My thoughts and care with prayers for you, how heartbreaking to read your blog. I can feel every word you say. Take care ! Sometimes, everything happens for a reason. Wish you well

  3. IT’S always heart breaking to lost someone you dear..
    The emptiness are usually filled with grieving tears and
    sorrow endlessly as one goes on with LIFE
    as LIFE must keep on going till the end of time !!
    We resonate with your deep feelings !!
    Que sera SERA : “Everything happen for a Reason”.
    God bless you and your beloved Family !!

  4. How wonderful to have been loved like that. Many never even experience it, but the tremendous pain to have lost it is unspeakable.
    We have precious memories to forever cherish. Sometimes, they bring us joy, sometimes laughter, but during these times, most probably seemingly unfathomable grief. Each precious piece has become part of us.
    Some say time heals all wound, but others counter that it never goes away, but that we learn to live life, move forward and overcome through it and inspite of it.
    We are all differently made. Our almighty fashioned and equipped us all differently in His image.
    May we remember to call on our Maker and His Spirit to give us strength, clarity of thought, wisdom and purpose to finish our own race well, till we meet Him and all our beloved who have gone ahead.
    Love , prayers and blessings!

  5. My Idol! Don’t be lonely, God is with you during difficult times. Sooner time shall pass and everything will be fine. Don’t forget that your guardian angel is slways readily available to guide you. My prayers and condolences Wish you well and healthy ❤️‍

  6. My condolences and sympathy! I can’t help to stop my tears upon reading your blog. I was touched and it really makes me cry. wish be there to wipe your tears. Take care coz i care

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