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A Time and Space to Grieve

By on March 22, 2022

When the morning star appeared in the eastern sky to herald the new day, the long journey of struggle was over, free from immense pain and no more suffering. He was silent as the breaking day. He had, at last, found the path to his eternal destination. It was the dawn of February 12 when he passed away. It has been more than a month now and still, pain is all I can feel.

Gene was diagnosed with Stage 4 Prostate Cancer but sadly, he died a year after. Recalling his parting words and requests on his deathbed were so much admiration and care for the whole family, it was the most emotional moment, it is with much a heartbreaking tone and tremendously difficult to take. He was conscious even on the verge of dying, it was really hard to see a dear one nearing the end of life, the last stage was so hurting, I can feel his tiredness that worsens all the time but we did the best we could but still, I’m not ready to let him go, he died two days before Valentine’s day, we had plans for that day, how hard to cope when someone you love was taken away, a reality so hard to accept. I totally hate goodbyes.

Mourning is another painful process to deal with, flashbacks and reflections keeps on coming back again and again. I can’t help but weep all the time. I know, it may take a year or forever to come to terms with a loss, it’s a scar that remains deep in my heart. I keep on recalling the meaningful memories we had before, the old life we lived so fondly together, our family outings in and out of the country, his kindness and thoughtfulness, his dedication and love for the family, and everyday life we shared together. I can feel his soft touch and his presence beside me, it’s really hard to move forward. I will miss him forever till the day we are together again.

Bedside in those final days

This is how tragic the loss of a loved one can be, it is very traumatic, my overwhelming sadness and emptiness. Currently getting through a hard time to return to normal life, the pain of grief and different emotions from shock and disbelief. I couldn’t eat and sleep and now, disrupting my physical condition. It’s hard to begin life again, more likely it takes long years to recover and life without him will never be the same again.

I hope the pain will lessen as we go on with life. I always have faith in God, He will provide us with hope and love. God will never abandon us during our times of grief. Life is for the living… I need more time and space to grieve. Pls. help me go through with it, it’s hard to move on. Help me stand again, I need words of COMFORT and ENCOURAGEMENT in the midst of grief.

Note:

Sharing my story to raise prostate cancer awareness.

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